I miss you. So much. It's been hard, but I'm trying. You were the only one I could

actually talk to, confide in and above all my friend. A true friend. And now knowing

that I will never be able to talk to again hurts me more and more each day. I miss you.

In case you're wondering, I still love him. And he's still really great, and I think he

knows even though I'll never admit to anything. I don't know why I'm typing this.

You'll never be able to read this, but you were the only one who actually read this thing

so I guess that's why I am. He's so amazing. There's no other word for it.

Maybe he'll think of me in that way someday. Maybe. 

Anyways, I just thought I'd blog because I haven't in Months. 

Again, I miss you.

"You always said how lucky we all were to be friends, but it was us baby, who were the lucky ones." 

To tell or not to tell, that is the question

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Life shouldn't be this difficult during the summer, but it is..There he is the most perfect guy in the

entire world....does he notice me? Probably not, i wish he did. Everyone either says I have a total

chance or no way in hell..it effing sucks!! Will he ever know, that is what I am contemplating. Whether

or not to let him know the truth rather than letting it eat me inside and settling with a much less

deserving guy..One problemo..HER. damnit, both HERs. Skinny & pretty the opposites of me. Then

there's the mores serious stuff, half my family is very sick, my cousin is preggers, my Mom hates me,

and I feel as if I am isolating myself from the rest of the world...THE FUCK UP WITH THAT?! ok, i had a

mild outburst....help?!

Boys, Boys, Boys..Go jump off a cliff

Okay,

first

things

first:

www.myspace.com/rinarawr

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Why are boys retarded?

1.) They go to Jupiter, to get moor Stupidur

2.) Their hearts are in their pants

3.) They don't realize Girls actually have feelings

My week so far has much improved from the Hell I went through last week. But of course, it still sucks. Know what that means, Marina Bitch time!

1.) The guy I liked doesn't like me. Good. One less boy-related prob.

2.) The guy I kinda-sorta-maybe-not-sure-yet-if-i-do like confuses the effing hell outta me.

3.) The guy I have been crazy about for years a really long time is finally single, but he's a wreck and so am I, so I don't see that going anywhere

4.) My best friend is hated by a BUNCH of people for a stupid reason that she had NO CONTROL OVER! Get Over It, Drama-Obsessed Gossip-aholics!

5.) My other friend hates me for a mistake I made to another firend who no longer talks to me because of this mistake. I'm sorry. Look, it was stupid. I'm stupid. I miss you.

6.) My once athletic body is longer. I need to find a spring sport, FAST.

7.) Grades still suck..

8.) AND EVERYONE HATES SANJAYA!!

HE IS A-M-A-Z-I-N-G AND I  HIM. GOT IT? GOOD.

VOTE FOR SANJAYA ON AMERICAN IDOL!!

DO IT!!

That's all for now. Spring break is next week. Yay. woo-woo. Me and my best friend are running away. AFTER I get my prom dress. Someone comment me, please? I feel pathetic pouring my mind, heart, soul and feelings onto an online blog xanga thing knowing NO ONE ever reads this. Perhaps it is better that way? Don't ask me, I don't effin know. Have Fun everyone.

It's been a while...

I haven't updated this in a while so I'm deciding to now.

www.myspace.com/rinarawr

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Currently, I'm feeling hysterical. I think I've finally lost my mind.

Of all the bad things that could ever happen they're all just happening to me:

1.) bad grades

2.) bad parents

3.) I've been put on a Co-ed Soccer team..KILL ME

4.) My jerky ex is on that team by the way

5.) The guy I ACTUALLY like (who also likes me according to "everyone") is shyy and isn't talking to me cuz he's shyy or secretly doesn't like me

6.) I had a crazy weekend with a player (pronounced play-a)

7.) My other ex is trying to get with my friend to only use them for sex                                  (which happens to be guy...eww)

8.) I'm sick

9.) I can't decide where to get a job (harrassment at a catering place or disease at a nursery)

10.) I don't have a prom dress

11.) I don't have a lot of friends anymore..

12.) I have no money

13.) Teachers are gayy

14.) I'm starting to gain weight

15.) My mom won't let me take belly-dancing lessons

16.) Rumors at school about me being the town bicycle

17.) This girl stole my black hoop earrings so I stole her silver ones 

18.) My braces and rubber bands are cutting up my mouth 

19.) I fall for guys too fast

20.) I can't tell when a boy is lying

Okay, so I'm done bitching but I'm far from done. I know I shouldn't be complaining, because I do have a very amazing, outstanding and great life. But I'm a teenager in high school, my life still sucks A LOT OF THE TIME. I'm just fed up with certain things..and they irritate me. I think I've decided to just try and chill, it's really hard, especially for me, but at least i'm trying. Well, that's all for now. I think i'm gonna go and read, try to catch up on Homework, cry, eat, and then maybe watch American Idol.

VOTE FOR SANJAYA,

by the way. hehehe..he's my fave. I know you all think he sucks and is the worst singer of the group but I don't care I love his good looks, personality AND voice. He's amzing and really great.

So, leave me a comment is you choose. I'll comment back all who comment me. From now on, THERE WILL BE MANY MANY MORE UPDATES!!!!

RAWR

Wow, I haven't been on in a loooonng time.

But I'm probably never gonna get on after this,

ok I LIED.

I'll get on but not often.

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